Mission Yearbook: Pastor calls generations to share truth, build bridges and walk together in hope

With Psalm 78:1-7 and Ruth 1:8-17 as her preaching texts, the Rev. Dr. Lorraine Leist brought the Presbyterian Older Adult Ministries Network conference to a thoughtful and hopeful conclusion during closing worship.

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The Rev. Dr. Lorraine Leist

“I am struck by the richness of all we have experienced here together,” said Leist, the associate pastor for congregational care and older adults at Montview Boulevard Presbyterian Church in Denver. Scripture echoes these themes,” she said, “the generations learning from one another, always drawing us deeper into God’s love.”

The psalmist “invites us to listen to the triumphs of faith and failures as well,” she said. “These truths are not to be hidden but passed down.”

In our churches, older members might confess that “we stayed silent when we should have marched,” she said. “Shared ministry comes from such honesty.” It’s “faith informing justice.”

Younger members can learn the practical skills that were required of their forebears to create victory gardens, for example, and of “making do.” Those skills can help young people who see responding to climate change “as a spiritual imperative.”

Truth-telling “can feel heavy,” Leist said, “but Psalm 78 calls us to speak honestly so hope can take root and every generation might see their hope in God.”

We also need the gift that Ruth offers us: an expansive love that bridges generations, Leist noted. Ruth’s mother-in-law, Naomi, “refuses to sugarcoat her reality,” and her daughters-in-law “choose the path that each needs”: Orpah electing to take the path toward home, and Ruth opting for a different path, crossing “boundaries of culture, family and nation. She embraces an expansive love.”

More than just a show of personal loyalty, Ruth’s choice “is a pivot in salvation history,” according to Leist, securing David’s line “and, in a Christian reading, preparing the way for Jesus. She shows us God’s purposes can unfold in the very places where human boundaries break open.”

Younger church members have many gifts to offer the church, including “questioning the binaries that shape identity — male and female, insider and outsider, even the secular and the sacred,” Leist said. “Their truth-telling challenges us not to cling to neat categories, but to embrace the fullness of God’s Creation.”

As a child, Leist would listen to her mother’s stories about the life of Leist’s grandmother, who lived on a farm in southern Indiana that had no running water. The farm was miles from the nearest store, and family members went to town once a year to purchase new shoes. “She could mend anything and find a use for things that people threw away,” Leist said of her grandmother. “Such resilience matters today.”

These kinds of stories “remind us that we too can adapt, persist and remain faithful.”

New opportunities emerge from such an exchange, she said. “Different generations collaborate to create something neither could have done alone,” she said. “May our younger generations share their imagination, not be afraid to push boundaries, and challenge assumptions that have kept us in the past. May we all remind each other that where you go, I will go.”

“May we leave this place embracing hope and walking together in the wide, wide hope of God,” Leist said.

At the conclusion of the service, Leist blessed those gathered with words that included this charge: “Friends, as you go forth from this place, may you remember to be brave enough to tell the truth and receive God’s boundary-crossing love, so we can build bridges together. Go with God’s peace. Amen.”

Mike Ferguson, Editor, Presbyterian News Service (Click here to read original PNS Story)

Let us join in prayer for:

Angielee Acevedo, Lead Housekeeper, Stony Point Center, Interim Unified Agency
Rhea Adams, Service Desk Technician, Information Technology Infrastructure, Administrative Services Group (A Corp)

Let us pray:

God of every generation, teach us to tell the truth with courage and to listen with love across age and experience. Help us pass on stories of faith, resilience and justice, so that hope may take root in those who come after us. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Mission Yearbook: Workshop urges faithful conversations about advance care planning

The Rev. Cindy Ray, executive director of the Presbyterian Association of Homes and Services for the Aging, was in her wheelhouse when she recently offered a workshop on the intersections of faith, stewardship and advanced care planning during the Presbyterian Older Adult Ministries Network annual conference.

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Photo by Olivier Collet via Unsplash

She opened with a slide of her parents, Jerry and Gerry, who were married for 70 years. Her dad suffered a massive stroke four years ago and was placed on a respirator, even though it was his wish not to be kept alive by artificial means and to die in the company of his family. Her mother had to decide when to take him off the respirator. “I was so glad to have that advance directive,” Ray said. “We told our mom, ‘you are honoring his wishes.’”

Ray said that any conversation on advanced care planning should be multigenerational. “I encourage families to bring their grandkids into it, especially if they are grown,” she said. “It also allows them to grapple with the fact that the lead generation won’t be with them forever.”

The biggest question to be answered is, who will speak for you if you can’t speak for yourself? Not only is it a planning process for making decisions about future medical care, it’s “a matter of faith,” Ray said, since “God is the sovereign author of our life” and life is “a sacred gift, but our bodies are vulnerable.”

“Death is a reality, but it is not the final word,” Ray said. “Our hope is in the resurrection and the promise of eternal life.”

Someone who agrees to implement health care instructions on your behalf if you are unable must be able to answer “yes” to a few questions, Ray said, including:

• Are you willing to take on this role and responsibility?
• Do you understand my wishes for future health care?
• Can you make the decision I would want to make, even if you disagree? 
• Can you make important health care decisions under stressful situations?
• Do you feel you can strongly advocate in the face of family members and others who may challenge my wishes?

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The Rev. Cindy Ray

Ray also discussed what a power of attorney and an advanced health care directive do. The latter includes medical treatment you want and don’t want, how you want your agent to make decisions, how you want your pain to be managed, where you want to receive care, your preferences regarding mental health care treatment, your desire to donate organs and tissues, and plans for your funeral arrangements. 

Ray noted that 9 in 10 people say talking with loved ones about end-of-life care is important, but Pew Research reports that fewer than 3 in 10 people have done so. “Those have been some of the most blessed moments in my ministry,” Ray said.

She also had ideas about how to open the conversation:

• Choose a comfortable and private setting to avoid interruptions or time constraints.
• Initiate the discussion by saying something like, “I know this isn’t easy to talk about, but if I get sick or have an accident and can’t make decisions for myself, I’d like to share what would be important to me so you could be my decision-maker.”
• Share your thought process. Explain that you have been thinking about the future and want to be prepared. Frame the conversation in a way to help the family and ensure wishes are respected.
• Focus on your faith, stewardship and values. Talk about what you appreciate about life and how your values and beliefs are guiding your preferences for medical care.
• Explain the why. Let your family know that talking about this now can help them make decisions later and avoid conflict and guilt.
• Explain the default. Clarify that without a directive, health care providers’ default is to “do everything,” Ray said, which may not align with your wishes.
• Be prepared for discomfort. Acknowledge that these conversations can be uncomfortable for everyone, but sharing your feelings can help launch the discussion.
• Take your time. It’s not necessary to cover every detail in one meeting. Ray’s advice was to start with “a brief chat, and let it evolve into a series of ongoing conversations.”

Mike Ferguson, Editor, Presbyterian News Service (Click here to read original PNS Story)

Let us join in prayer for:

Christopher Abney, VP, Director of IT, Presbyterian Foundation
Susan Abraham, Associate, Mission Program Grants & Mission Development Resources Committee, Interim Unified Agency

Let us pray:

Faithful God, you are the giver of life and the holder of our days. Grant us wisdom and courage to speak honestly with those we love, to plan with care and to entrust each other with sacred decisions. When conversations are hard, remind us of your presence and the hope that carries us through every beginning and every ending. Amen.

Mission Yearbook: Equipping grandparents to build faith, one relationship at a time

Sandy Safford, the faith formation coordinator at Shepherd of the Hills Presbyterian Church in Lakewood, Colorado, has a number of tools that grandparents can use to engage in intergenerational ministry and create lasting memories with their grandchildren as well as other children and youth at their church. During a “Grandparent/Grandchild Ministry” workshop recently held as part of the annual conference of the Presbyterian Older Adult Ministries Network, Safford discussed dozens of tried-and-true options.

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Photo by Sergiu Valenas via Unsplash

Safford helpfully grouped the ideas into eight categories: retreats and camps, activities that bridge or cross the generations, grandparent days, equipping grandparents, long-distance grandparenting for keeping in touch, holidays, writing and sharing your stories, and congregations and worship.

Safford herself is a first-time grandmother, but she made it clear “you don’t have to be a grandparent” to engage some of the ideas she shared from her more than 30 years’ experience. “They are for equipping grandparents and how we as church leaders can provide opportunities beyond the church for grandparents in our communities,” she said.

In many faith communities, “so many folks serve as grandparents without being blood relatives,” Safford said. Her own children fondly remember the “substitute grandparents” from her family’s 10 years in Utah. “My children were so loved. We all have folks who just want to love on our kids and our youth. Take advantage of that,” she advised workshop participants. “They have gifts to share.”

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Sandy Safford

Among Safford’s many ideas for intergenerational ministry:

• A Grandparent Retreat, which “should be easy for a lay leader to do for a weekend. There are a variety of activities, and it’s flexible,” Safford said. “You can make it happen with a small team.” One thing Safford has observed is that “it’s a whole different experience when the parents aren’t there. There are precious moments of listening, discovering from one another, and sharing stories.” The weekend is designed “for kids and grandparents to get to hear each other’s stories. Also, for grandparents to chat with one another.”
• One grandmother Safford knows has a grandchild who lives far away. The grandmother writes her grandchild every week and tucks some stickers into the envelope. When they video chat, the grandchild shares with her grandmother what she did with the stickers. “That’s an easy connection,” Safford said.
• It’s also relatively easy to host an intergenerational tea party around the holidays, mixing generations at the tables and supplying each table with a board game. To mix things up, Safford will call “time” after a few minutes and have children rotate to another table, picking up the board game as it is at their new table.
• At a scavenger hunt on church grounds or in a park, participants can look for certain objects or colors, bringing them back to share. Invariably, a grandpa will bring back a blade of grass after following instructions to find something green, put it between his fingers and make it whistle. Pretty soon, all the grandchildren are following suit, Safford said.
• Safford uses the “Growing in God’s Love” children’s Bible and others. Flyaway Books has a number of titles exploring difficult topics, including “My Elephant is Blue,” Melinda Szymanik’s book about “big, heavy feelings.”
• Birthday adventures are fun events for both old and young, and don’t add to the typical pile of presents the grandchild receives. It can be a day of “doing something together” involving just the grandparent and the grandchild.
• Beloved magazines Ranger Rick and Highlights are still around, Safford noted.
• “Faith on Our Feet” is a series of monthly gatherings Safford’s church offered to blend worship and a mission project.

“Part of my ministry is to equip everyone to build relationships,” Safford said. “I strongly believe we need to provide that for every kid in the congregation.”

Mike Ferguson, Editor, Presbyterian News Service, Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) Click here to read original PNS Story)

Let us join in prayer for:

Rafaelina Valerio, Housekeeper, Stony Point Center, Interim Unified Agency
Princeton Abarahoa, Associate, African Immigrant Congregational Support, Interim Unified Agency

Let us pray:

Loving God, thank you for the wisdom of elders, the curiosity of children and the bonds that grow when generations share faith and love. Bless all who step into the role of mentor, grandparent and guide, so that every child may feel known, cherished and rooted in you. Amen.

Mission Yearbook: POAMN workshop covers grief and how to become better grieving congregations

Deborah Brandt knows the weight of grief. By her mid-40s, she had lost both parents, navigating memories while closing estates and selling her childhood home.

Determined to be the support she once needed, Brandt trained in Dr. Alan Wolfelt’s companioning model, an approach that honors grief rather than trying to fix it.

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Photo by Logan Weaver via Unsplash

Brandt, a coach, consultant and speaker, recently presented a workshop called “Becoming Better Grieving Congregations” during the annual conference of the Presbyterian Older Adult Ministries Network.

For the past decade, Brandt has served as a funeral celebrant. “I work with families on their worst day. Together, we co-create the ceremony. Together, we decide who’s speaking. We create some boundaries,” she said.

Brandt opened the workshop by passing around a battery-powered candle, asking everyone present to choose a word describing their experience with grief.

She offered up definitions for trauma, grief (the inner, natural response to an external event) and mourning, which she called “the outward expression of grief.”

“Grief is a normal part of life,” Brandt said. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, has turned “normal grief into a mental disorder,” according to The Lancet, and Brandt challenged a few myths about grief, inviting workshop participants to:

• Recognize and acknowledge that every experience of loss is unique
• Honor lived experience
• Be compassionate with yourself and others.

“At any given time, one in four people is experiencing loss,” she said. Loss is a frequent theme in the Bible, but we are given these promises in Lamentations 3:22–23: “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

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Deborah Brandt

Brandt then asked those in attendance to write the version of themselves they present to others on the outline of a mask she reproduced on a piece of paper. On the other side, attendees wrote the parts of themselves they keep hidden. Brandt placed the papers in a bag and then had each person draw one and read the qualities on a random paper out loud.

“There are lots of things pastors can share in their communities,” said Brandt, who did a similar exercise following the murder of George Floyd. “What they shared [then] was so hard, even in a safe space, because they couldn’t share it in their own community,” she said. “We need more safe spaces for sharing our concerns.”

“We get uncomfortable when people are grieving in front of us,” she said. Try saying “this is so hard” or “how can I support you?” or “I’m sad you are in this place” or “how do you like to be supported” or “tell me about your loved one” or even “I can bring dinner Thursday night,” she suggested.

“Being silent,” Brandt said, “is sometimes just right.”

Brandt called grief “a full-body experience — emotionally, physically and cognitively.” But, as the author bell hooks noted, “where there is grief, there is powerful, enduring love.”

“Uncomfortable is where growth and change happen,” Brandt said. “A good mourning community understands that.” Learn more in this study by the Dougy Center: The National Grief Center for Children and Families.”

Grief “is dynamic and cannot be fully defined by stages or phases,” Brandt said, adding, “there is no one right way to grieve.”

She cited some companioning skills developed by Wolfelt:

• WAIT, which stands for “why am I talking?”
• Follow the person’s lead
• Say what you sense
• Avoid problem-solving, advice and cliches
• Provide compassionate accountability, which Brandt called “a mixed bag.”
• Grief is “sacred and liminal space”

As Makeda Pennycooke, a coaching strategist, put it, “Living in the ‘and’ is a way of accepting what is while staying open to the possibilities of what might be. It’s learning to hold two things that feel like opposites alongside each other without judgment or without choosing one over the other.”

Brandt said faith communities can ask, “how are we inviting more vulnerability for grief in our congregation?” The writer and poet Cole Arthur Riley notes that “to be human in an aching world is to know our dignity and become people who safeguard the dignity of everything around us.”

“Rituals create lasting connection,” Brandt said. 

Mike Ferguson, Editor, Presbyterian News Service (Click here to read original PNS Story)

Let us join in prayer for:

Joey Brown, Associate, Direct Mail and PILLARS, Administrative Services Group, A Corporation
Andrew Browne, Executive Vice President, Engagement & Church Relations, The Board

Let us pray:

God, we pray that we may discover Jesus Christ in the face of every stranger that we may know through your Holy Spirit and that love eternal that is the essence of your character and the true end of our humanity. Amen.

Mission Yearbook: Social worker explores dementia’s spiritual journey at POAMN conference

Kay Adams, a longtime social worker who counsels and coaches families of dementia patients, recently delivered a talk on “The Spiritual Journey of Dementia” during the Presbyterian Older Adult Ministries Network conference that centered several patients with whom she worked.

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Kay Adams speaks Thursday to the annual conference of the Presbyterian Older Adult Ministries Network. (Photo by Mike Ferguson)

One, whom Adams calls Edna in her book “Bedside Witness: Stories of Hope, Healing and Humanity,” had suffered a stroke and had a hard time making herself understood. Still, “Edna was full of joy all the time.” After her meal, she’d often say, “up, up” to Adams, who assumed Edna wanted to return to her second-story room. One day, Edna looked downcast. “I asked how she was feeling and she gave me a sad, kind of pleading look and said, ‘up, up,’” Adams said. She was pointing out the window at the sky. Adams asked, “Do you mean heaven?”

“She smiled and said, ‘go now, up, up. Home. Heaven,” Adams said. “I told her I understood she was telling me she was ready to die. She reached to my face and wiped my tears.”

Adams told Edna how much she meant to her and that “I was in full support of her going ‘up, up’ as comfortably as possible. I took her back to her apartment blissfully unaware it would be the last time I ever did that.”

“Five days later she slipped out of her body to the Pearly Gates. Obviously God had no problem deciphering her language.”

Adams peppered her talk with insights about dementia and caregiving. Two-thirds of Alzheimer’s patients are women. It’s the seventh-leading cause of death in people 65 and older. One in three seniors dies of Alzheimer’s or a related dementia.

By 2031, we’ll need an additional 1 million health care workers to care for people living with dementia.

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Photo by Robina Weermeijer via Unsplash

Adams asked attendees to pretend they’re wearing a scuba mask. That’s the peripheral vision a dementia patient may experience. She did the same with looking through binoculars as the disease progresses.

She noted caregivers can face guilt and remorse when saying things like, “Don’t ask me that question again!”

“We beat ourselves up for the next few days and feel guilty we can’t be constantly compassionate and kind,” she said. “I don’t know a more isolated group on the planet than dementia caregivers.”

She then told the story of a patient she called Nick, who worked for decades as a crane operator. When he was in his 80s, Nick was always thinking he was late for work. “He would walk up and down the halls of memory care looking for his car,” Adams said.

One day, with Nick seated alongside Adams on a bench, “the clouds parted” for him. “I don’t have a car anymore, do I?” he told her. She told him, “you’re not late for work. You live here now.” The next moment, he returned to, “have you seen my car?”

“I got to see Nick for 30 seconds,” she said. “His soul and his essence were still there.”

“We need to learn about a person’s history,” Adams said, “to understand who they were before dementia entered the picture and treat them accordingly.”

We can create “kind spaces” for people living with dementia, with signage that’s clear and designate calm areas where they can retreat to if needed, creating “a friendly and forgiving environment where people living with dementia can celebrate their spirituality in community — even if they can’t always remember the social norms and rituals and prayers, or when they’re supposed to talk or not,” Adams said.

Adams offered a handful of helpful hints:

People living with dementia are doing the best they can.

Join their reality, and don’t force them into yours.

Establish a relationship based on history, compassion and respect. Remember who the person was.

Learn about dementia so you can support people living with dementia and their families.

“Learning how to remove the accoutrements with which culture dresses us, we may be able to encounter each other’s souls, including those of people living with dementia,” Adams said. “It’s within the present moment where such encounters can take place.”

Mike Ferguson, Editor, Presbyterian News Service (Click here to read original PNS story)

Let us join in prayer for:

Tara Brannigan, Financial Administrative Assistant, Stony Point Center, Interim Unified Agency
Kendra Bright, Operations and Accounting Associate, Presbyterian Publishing Corporation

Let us pray:

God of mercy, in tender compassion bring your peace to all. Make whole those who are broken, and use us as your Spirit’s instruments of healing, for Jesus’ sake. Amen.

Mission Yearbook: End-of-life care is subject of POAMN conference talk

Two women with decades of experience in helping people who are near death — one as a physician, the other as a pastor and palliative care chaplain — led a helpful and from-the-heart dialogue recently as part of the Presbyterian Older Adult Ministries Network’s annual conference, “Bridging Generations.” About 100 people from 24 states were in attendance.

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The Rev. Dr. Lorraine Leist and Dr. Jean Abbott lead their dialogue workshop Wednesday at the annual conference of the Presbyterian Older Adult Ministries Network. (Photo by Mike Ferguson)

Dr. Jean Abbott, a retired physician and educator in Boulder, and the Rev. Dr. Lorraine Leist, associate pastor for congregational care and older adults at Montview Boulevard Presbyterian Church in Denver, called their presentation “Is Dying More Than a Medical Event?”

We have different trajectories of dying, as a handout explained. About 10% die abruptly, with the rest falling into three roughly even categories: a terminal illness, organ failure or a frailty trajectory.

The two presenters went over three case studies. Abbott started by discussing a friend, a 79-year-old man who’d always been a vigorous traveler and distance runner who found out he had a leaky aortic valve. He underwent surgery and rehab, but his path going forward is unclear. “His great joys have always been travel and being outdoors,” Abbott said. Now he relies on his wife to keep track of his medications and to go to the hospital with him.

“This is clearly a medical situation, but it’s spiritual and existential as well,” Leist said. Questions including “why me?” and “why now?” often come up. “Someone of faith may ask, ‘where is God now? I started by getting tired and now I have this condition that could kill me.’”

Another aspect, Leist said, is the search for meaning. “What is the meaning of my life now? My life had been defined by things of my own choosing. Now [this man is] facing fear, grief and reconfiguration of family life. As a chaplain, I have been present with people struggling to adapt.”

The second case study was on Leist’s father, “and his clarity about end-of-life wishes,” Leist said. Her father got sick and died two weeks later at age 82. “What was significant is he was very clear his entire life that he wanted nothing to do with the medical system, which is a challenge for many who have medical conditions,” she said.

“When he got sick, we were clear we didn’t want him to have to go to the hospital. We involved hospice,” she said. “We were able to honor his wishes and allow him to die peacefully at home.”

“It’s interesting he avoided the rabbit hole of going down the medical pathway,” Abbott said. “Medicine always has something to treat, but there’s rarely a discussion of the big picture.”

“My father was fortunate enough to have a chaplain for a daughter,” Leist said. Family members “talked about the importance of making his wishes known” early in his disease process, about seven years before he died.

Abbott noted that some people “change their mind near the end” about the kind of care they’re receiving. “Wait a minute! I have some unfinished business,” they might say. But Leist’s father “was very clear and had a strong family who could push back at the medical system.

“We are sharing stories with you because you travel with people on this journey,” Abbott told those in attendance. “It’s important to support them and understand when their choices might change.”

The third case involved an 86-year-old woman with progressive dementia. Family members were concerned for her husband’s caregiving capacity.

“We listen and make space for the grief,” Leist said. “The promises made to care for someone for a lifetime — those are serious promises we make. Giving space and time allows people to grieve the loss of the capability to fulfill those promises.”

What, then, makes dying more than a medical event?

“We need to make space for lament,” Leist said. “We have this process of being able to cry out to God in anger and grief to create an avenue or opening to reconnect with our faith.”

We can also, of course, “provide pragmatic support — meals, driving, respite. It’s our call to love our neighbors, and it’s all over Scripture,” Leist said, “asking us to take care of each other in practical and pragmatic ways.”

Mike Ferguson, Editor, Presbyterian News Service, Communications (Click here to read original PNS Story)

Let us join in prayer for:

Margaret Boone, Project Manager, Special Offerings, Administrative Services Group
Shonita Bossier, VP, Operations, Presbyterian Foundation   

Let us pray:

Gracious Lord, please open our eyes to the opportunities that exist all around us. Help us to move when you call us and enable us to engage our communities so that together we might accomplish the tasks you have put before us. Amen.

Mission Yearbook: Pastor emphasizes ‘presence over performance’ at POAMN conference

As part of the Bridging Generations conference recently offered by the Presbyterian Older Adult Ministries Network, the Rev. Denise Shannon, pastor of Westminster Presbyterian Church in Thornton, Colorado, a POAMN co-moderator and spiritual director and, before that, a registered nurse for 30 years, led a thoughtful talk on “Spirituality and the Older Adult: Supporting Soul Care in the Later Seasons of Life.”

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The Rev. Denise Shannon

“I’ve spent my whole life with adults who are older, and I have an affinity and a love for them,” Shannon said. “The stories they tell are amazing, and I love listening to stories. There is something you can find in everybody’s story that gives meaning and purpose to their life.”

Shannon differentiated between religion — organized structure that brings together beliefs, practices and rituals that people find comforting — and spirituality, that sense of connection to something or someone greater.

Spirituality matters in older age in at least four ways, she said:

• Making sense of our life’s story and legacy
• Coping with losses and transitions
• Seeking reconciliation and forgiveness
• Nurturing hope and preparing for the end of life.

“It can ease a lot of anxiety. I say that from a history of sitting with people who are dying,” she said. “Those who have some sense of faith and spirituality have less anxiety at that time than people who don’t. … They seem to be less anxious and are able to be more accepting at the end of life.”

Spiritual challenges “show up when grief abounds,” Shannon said. “Some of us do grief really well and some do not. … You can have the best faith in the world, and when those losses happen, it can all go out the window.”

People with cognitive decline or dementia see their lives, memory and faith practices impacted. They may ask, “am I still valuable? Am I broken because I can’t do what I used to do and I can’t remember anymore?” Shannon said. “They feel forgotten by family, friends and God.”

A hospice chaplain who’s worked with a number of patients over 100 said they sometimes ask, “why won’t God take me now?” “It’s quite a question, and I don’t have the answer,” the chaplain said.

Shannon had a 97-year-old patient who decided to go home from the hospital to die on hospice care rather than face difficult surgery and recovery. She asked Shannon, “Why won’t God take me? I don’t want to live like this.”

“I asked her, ‘why do you think you’re still here?’” Shannon said. “If you sit and wait and listen, they’ll think through it.” The woman told Shannon, “maybe I’m not done yet. I have a new grandson, and I think I’m supposed to teach him something before I go.”

Later, the woman told Shannon she hadn’t spoken to her son in 40 years. She decided to call him. They talked, and he came to visit her before she died.

“Be willing to let the question lie. Let people noodle on it,” Shannon advised. “Sometimes we aren’t given opportunity to reflect or be listened to without judgment.”

The most important thing people in ministry can do for older adults is “to offer this act of listening,” Shannon said. “We can do nothing more important than be present, willing to listen and just sit with people” because “we all like to be heard. We like to know that what we have to say and share is important.”

Affirm people’s life experiences, “even if they’re yucky,” she suggested. “It may not feel good to hear those stories, but it’s who they are. Even in the bad experiences, they might find that one joyful thing. Their life has not been wasted just because of who they are. It’s presence over performance.”

Shannon said in the past two months or so, she’s discovered that older adult ministry need not be separate from other ministry. “We are already doing this ministry in many different ways,” she said. “We might have to adapt the things we’ve already doing for these people.”

“Maybe we need to listen before we act,” she said. Older adults “have incredible richness to give us and can inform us what they need.”

Mike Ferguson, Editor, Presbyterian News Service (Click here to read original PNS story)

Let us join in prayer for:

Ricky Blade, Customer Service Representative, Constituent Ministry, Interim Unified Agency
Vivian Blade, Program Manager, Unification Management Office, Interim Unified Agency

Let us pray:

Lord God, help us to discern your guidance for all that we think, say, and do and strengthen us to walk in the paths that you have set before us. Amen.