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Forgiveness: Her Act of the Will | ||||
| Rami Ayyad was director of the only Christian bookstore in Gaza City. One evening in 2007, shortly after closing the shop for the day, he called his family and told them he was with some bearded men and might be away for some time. That was the last they heard from him. Rami’s body was found in a field the next morning. He had been shot and stabbed numerous times. Pauline, who was four months pregnant with their third child, was devastated. For the next five years, she battled depression as she struggled with grief. “Many times, I felt down,” Pauline said. “And I asked, ‘God, you made me a widow; why are my kids without a father?’” While those years were difficult, she knew God was still with her. “I would wake up and look to God and get strength,” she said. While working through her grief, Pauline’s anger grew toward those who killed her husband. Living in a predominantly Muslim area, she heard the Islamic call to prayer five times a day, and each call from the minarets served as a potential provocation. Christian friends urged Pauline to forgive Rami’s killers, but she felt it was easier for them to say than for her to do; their lives had not been destroyed.
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