Ten opportunities for self-care from Diana Butler Bass, From: What are We Going to Do?, Preparing my house to withstand the wildfire of the next four years, Diana Butler Bass, January 28, 2025.
HERE ARE MY TEN Ws:
WAKE UP (everyday)
Sleep is important, but hiding under the covers is bad. Get on some sort of schedule for sleeping and waking. And don’t doom scroll before bed.
WELCOME THE DAY (everyday)
With gratitude. Say “thank you” first thing when you wake. The night and day are still doing their thing, no matter what. You may feel defeated or scared. But you are alive. Life is the first and most fleeting gift. Remember Stephen Hawking: “Where there's life, there's hope”
Reread Grateful (or read it for the first time). I wrote it during Trump I. There’s a lot of wisdom in those pages. I’m rereading my own book now.
WALK (everyday)
Get fresh air and exercise. This isn’t a weight loss program or training for a marathon. Walk to feel the ground under your feet and notice all the little things on your street, in your neighborhood, at the park. Feel your body in the world. Move, be attentive to your world, pray or meditate as you go (if you like). Or just put one foot in front of the other — because that’s the only way through the next four years.
(BE) WITH OTHERS (everyday)
Don’t isolate yourself. Reach out or connect with someone every single day. Face-to-face, via text or email, or write a letter. Go to church or synagogue. (I know lots of people who have theological questions who go to church just to be with others.) Volunteer to feed the hungry or read to children at the local library (also: support your local library!). Do good for and with others. Go to conferences. Hang out with people you trust. Start a book group.
WORK (most days, but take Sabbaths too!)
Keep doing your work. Do what you love. Practice your vocation. Don’t try to do everything all the time. Focus on your own gifts and calling. This isn’t just working at a job. Clean your house, rearrange your closets, take up a hobby. You may be challenged in the future to go far beyond your comfort zone. But it is far more likely that the work you do will be your primary arena of acts of assistance, democracy, and justice on behalf of others. Be an everyday hero wherever you are.
WRITE (everyday, weekly, or often)
Keep a journal of these days. Express yourself as fully as you can in its pages. If you don’t like writing, draw or weave or throw pots. Whatever. Have a creative way to work through your fears, losses, or doubts. You may think you don’t want to remember any of this. But one day, you — or someone who comes after you — will be grateful to know your story of now. And writing or art can clarify things for you.
WATCH THE NEWS (as able)
You must stay informed. The arsonists want you ignorant. If you can’t watch the news, read or listen to it. Subscribe to a few news digests that deliver news in smaller, digestible bits (I subscribe to ProPublica, The Guardian, Bloomberg, Heather Cox Richardson’s daily newsletter) along with newsletters you trust. I still get the Washington Post and the New York Times, keeping in mind their recent editorial shifts, etc. Support local journalism. Use the mute button on your remote. Be cautious with sources. You don’t need to know everything, but being aware of at least some things is important.
WIDE-SIGHT (a practice to develop)
Broaden your perspective by looking to the periphery. I wrote about wide-sight in Grateful (pp. 65-67). But I first learned the practice from Parker Palmer in The Courage to Teach (which is still one of my favorite books ever!). Here’s his explanation:
Normally when we are taken by surprise, there is a sudden narrowing of our visual periphery that exacerbates the fight or flight response — an intense, fearful, self-defensive focusing of the “gimlet eye” that is associated with both physical and intellectual combat. But in the Japanese self-defense art of aikido, this visual narrowing is countered by a practice called “soft eyes,” in which one learns to widen one’s periphery, to take in more of the world.
If you introduce a sudden stimulus to an unprepared person, the eyes narrow and the fight or flight syndrome kicks in. But if you train a person to practice soft eyes, then introduce that same stimulus, the reflex is often transcended. This person will turn toward the stimulus, take it in, and then make a more authentic response — such as thinking a new thought.
Don’t get fixated on the direct threats. Instead, remind yourself to look toward the edges of your field of vision. What’s there? What’s not immediately obvious? Is there something on the periphery that is helpful, healing, or hopeful?
WEEP (whenever)
Embrace whatever emotions come up. I’ve cried many days in recent months. But I’ve laughed, too. Don’t judge how you feel on any given day (or at any given hour). Don’t regret the tears and don’t feel guilty about joy — and all the feelings in between the two. If you have someone to talk to about your feelings, share what’s going on.
WONDER (as much as possible)
Go out into nature, spend time at an art museum, listen to your favorite music, read books and poetry, get obsessed with space photos from the Webb telescope — anything that connects you to beauty and deepens your awareness of awe. Researchers have discovered that “awe leads to goodwill, cooperation, and a transformed sense of self as part of a community” (Berkeley professor Dacher Keltner). Embrace mystery. Ask unanswerable questions. Awe is “pro-social” and has been shown to reduce polarization!
Wake up, Welcome the day, Walk, (Be) With others, Work, Write, Watch the news, practice Wide-sight, Weep, and Wonder.
Some are every day practices, some occasional. Some need to be learned; others are intuitive. This isn’t a to do list. It is a mapMix them up. Borrow what you like or need. Whatever helps. Add your own Ws. Keep it simple.
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That’s what I’m doing. My ten Ws.
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